On the Space Program:

"The best minds at NASA have come up with these ultra-sophisticated, ultra-expensive space craft to take us to places like the moon and Mars where there's no oxygen, no gravity, no food...  That might be a hint that God doesn't want us there.  Maybe the money could be much better spent on, oh I don't know, things like: ENDING WORLD HUNGER!"                                

                                              --Joe at Notre Dame University

 

"I've read you're not supposed to pee on an electric fence. "

                                              --Joe to his kids in rural Lisbon, Ohio.

 

"Race for the cure?  Yeah. But why don't we also just: STOP USING THE STUFF THAT CAUSES CANCER IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

                                              --Joe during an Organic Farm Festival talk,

                                                Yorkshire, OH

 

On the astronomical National Debt:

"We need someone in D.C. with a calculator, that works."

                                               --Joe to the Delphos (OH) News

 

"To heal the country, we have to heal the family."

                                               --Joe to CBS News in Monterey, California.

 

On global warming:

"Okay, global warming is real and we sacrifice to save the planet for our children.  Okay, global warming is not real and we sacrifice to save the planet for our children.  SO WHAT?!!!"

                                               --Joe to the Sidney (OH) Daily News

 

"Do you ever get the feeling most of the policies coming out of D.C. anymore are like:  REARRANGING DECK CHAIRS ON THE TITANIC?"                                                          --Joe to: ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN!

 

On 'JoeCare':

"If people ate better, got more exercise and were less stressed -- they wouldn't get sick as much.  [Well, it would work.]"

                                                --Joe to the Salina (KS) Journal

 

On abortion:

"Ten fingers, ten toes and a heart beat in the womb.  Ten fingers, ten toes and a heart beat outside the womb.  It wouldn't take an anatomy professor at Dartmouth to figure out: IT'S A BABY!"

                                                --Joe at Xavier University

 

On nuclear arms:

"Our daughter Sarah said to me:  'Dad, we've got enough nuclear weapons to blow the world up hundreds of times.  Why don't we have enough to just blow it up once?'  And I replied:  'Good point Sarah."'

                                                --Joe to the LaGrange (GA) News"

 

On homelessness:

"While campaigning in downtown Savannah, Geogia, our Sarah, then 3 and a half years old, saw her first homeless man sleeping on the street. When she found out he was homeless, she frantically tugged at my shirt, imploring:  'DADDY! DADDY! WE GOTTA FIND HIM A HOME!'  How do you end homelessness in America?  Everyone become three and a half years old again."

                                                --Joe to the Adam's County (OH) People's                                                        Defender newspaper

 

On Jobs:

"Instead of creating more jobs, many of them extraneous, why not 'job share'?"

                                                --Joe to the Wapokaneta (OH) Daily Times

 

On the housing crisis:

"Instead of losing one's home (to foreclosure), why not house share? You halve the mortgage, the electricity; the gas, while sharing tools, lawn equipment, vehicles..." 

                                                --Joe to the Ashtabula (OH) Star Beacon

 

On traffic safety:

"Some 33,000 people are killed on American road ways every year.  We lost five thousand soldiers in Iraq over seven years.  Our roads are a war zone." 

                                                 --Joe to the Loudonville (OH) Times

 

On nuclear power:

"Anyone heard of Fukishima and Chernobyl?"

                                                 --Joe speaking into the wind, or rather

                                                  down wind

                                            

"When the nuclear reaction will last longer than the containment vessel it's in... What were we thinking on that?"

                                                --Joe to the Kingman (AZ) Daily Miner                                                            newspaper

 

"Maybe we should clean up the water on this planet, before we spend money looking for it on other planets."

                                                --Joe to the Wapakoneta Daily News 

                                                 (Astronaut Neil Armstrong's hometown 

                                                 newspaper)

 

On Hispanic immigration:

"If my kids are in harms way because of (political, or drug cartel, or) violence, I'm getting them help.  If my kids are hungry, I'm getting them help.  Whether that's crossing a desert, a river or climbing a fence."

                                                --Joe to the Round Up Daily, New Mexico                                                        State University newspaper

 

"We should look at Hispanic immigrants (legal or illegal) as a tremendous spiritual opportunity to help.  Anyone read The Good Samaritan story recently?"

                                                 --Joe to the Hobbs (NM) Sun newspaper

 

On crime:

"We used to worry about how our kids would do in English class. Now we're worried about them being shot to death in English class." 

                                                 --Joe to Ohio Magazine

 

"Inner city kids shouldn't have to be dodging hunger, needles and bullets day in and day out."

                                                  --Joe to the Bowling Green State                                                                      University News

 

On Harvard and Yale:

"For the past 20 years we've had presidents who have graduated from Harvard or Yale.  Yet we have all these societal problems still (50 million abortions, astronomic national debt, high unemployment, rampant societal violence and drug use, global warming, nuclear proliferation, foreclosures all over the place).  This might, oh, indicate that whatever you learn at Harvard and Yale: MIGHT NOT EQUIP YOU TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS!"

                                                  --Joe to the Sidney (OH) Daily News

 

On campaign garb:

"What do you mean by:  You're not going to wear that shirt to the talk, are you?"

                                                  --Joe to his wife/campaign manager, Liz